What it is
Avoidant Personality Disorder involves pervasive social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy, and hypersensitivity to criticism or rejection, beginning by early adulthood and present across contexts. People with AvPD deeply want connection but avoid social/work situations due to fear of shame or rejection.
AvPD overlaps with, but is distinct from, Social Anxiety Disorder; AvPD tends to be more pervasive (identity/self-esteem and close relationships are strongly affected).
Common signs and symptoms
- Avoids jobs or activities with significant interpersonal contact due to fear of criticism or rejection
- Unwilling to get involved with people unless certain of being liked
- Holds back in intimate relationships for fear of shame/ridicule
- Preoccupied with criticism in social situations; views self as socially inept or inferior
- Reluctant to take risks or try new things to avoid embarrassment
- Significant loneliness, career limitations, and reduced quality of life
Co-occurs with depression, social anxiety, and sometimes trauma histories.
Why it happens
- Temperament: behavioral inhibition, high threat sensitivity
- Early experiences of criticism, bullying, rejection, or invalidation
- Core beliefs: “I’m unlikable/incompetent; others will reject me”
- Avoidance prevents corrective experiences, keeping fear high
What helps
- Psychotherapies
- CBT with exposure to feared social situations; behavioral experiments to test beliefs
- Schema Therapy to address core shame/inferiority schemas
- Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT) to build self-compassion and reduce shame
- Interpersonal therapy or MBT to enhance relationship skills and understanding of social signals
- Skills practice
- Gradual, structured social exposures (start small)
- Assertiveness and boundary-setting training; role plays
- Self-compassion exercises; reduce harsh self-criticism
- Medications
- SSRIs/SNRIs can help co-occurring social anxiety or depression; meds don’t treat personality patterns directly
- Supports
- Group therapy (CBT or skills-based) for safe social practice
- Peer communities and purpose-driven groups aligned with interests
Progress is steady with repeated, supported exposures and belief change.
When to seek help now
- Severe isolation, work/school impairment
- Depression or thoughts of self-harm
- Panic attacks around social demands
How to talk to a clinician
- “I avoid social/work situations due to fear of rejection and feel inferior. I’d like CBT with graded exposure and schema or compassion-focused therapy.”
Resources for readers in the USA
- Immediate help: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline; Crisis Text Line (text HOME to 741741)
- Find care: Psychology Today (filter for CBT/Schema/CFT; group therapy); FindTreatment.gov; NAMI HelpLine
- Self-help: Anxiety and Depression Association of America (adaa.org) social anxiety resources; self-compassion.org exercises
- Low-cost/community: Open Path Collective; Community Health Centers (findahealthcenter.hrsa.gov); 211
- Insurance tips: Verify in-network therapy, group therapy coverage, telehealth; copay/coinsurance, deductible, out-of-pocket max
- Work/school supports: ADA accommodations (gradual exposure to role demands), EAP; campus counseling
Disclaimer: Educational information, not a diagnosis. If in crisis, use the resources above.