What it is
Dependent Personality Disorder features a pervasive need to be taken care of, leading to submissive and clinging behavior and fears of separation. People with DPD often struggle to make everyday decisions without reassurance and may stay in unhealthy relationships due to fear of being alone. DPD is treatable—skills and therapy can increase autonomy and confidence.
DPD is more than normal closeness or interdependence; the hallmark is excessive reliance and impairment.
Common signs and symptoms
- Decision-making and initiative
- Difficulty making routine decisions without advice/reassurance
- Avoids responsibility; low confidence in personal judgment
- Relationships
- Goes to great lengths to get support/nurturance; fears disagreement or disapproval
- Feels helpless or uncomfortable when alone; urgently seeks new relationships when one ends
- Tolerates poor treatment to avoid abandonment
- Emotional patterns
- Pervasive self-doubt, anxiety, and pessimism about coping independently
- Risk of depression or anxiety when alone or facing choices
Co-occurs with anxiety disorders, depressive disorders, trauma histories, or medical conditions that previously required caregiving.
Why it happens
- Temperament: anxiety-prone, harm-avoidant traits
- Early experiences: overprotective or controlling caregiving; trauma or loss
- Beliefs: “I can’t cope alone,” “Others must decide for me,” “Disagreement risks abandonment”
- Avoidance of independent actions prevents mastery experiences, maintaining dependence
What helps
- Psychotherapies
- CBT: identify dependent beliefs, build problem-solving and decision skills, graded autonomy tasks
- Schema Therapy: address subjugation/dependence schemas, strengthen healthy adult mode
- Assertiveness and interpersonal effectiveness training
- Attachment-informed therapy to develop secure internal base
- Skills-building
- Gradual independence plan: start with small solo tasks (calls, appointments), then larger responsibilities
- Decision-making frameworks and confidence logs (track choices and outcomes)
- Boundary-setting and healthy relationship templates
- Medications
- No medication for DPD itself; treat co-occurring anxiety/depression as indicated
- Safety planning
- For abusive relationships: connect to support (hotlines, shelters, legal aid); build discrete independence steps
Progress focuses on increasing self-efficacy while maintaining healthy, reciprocal connections.
When to seek help now
- Inability to function without a specific person; fear of harm if relationship ends
- Staying in abusive or exploitative relationships due to fear of being alone
- Severe anxiety or depression; thoughts of self-harm
How to talk to a clinician
- “I rely heavily on others to make decisions and feel panicked when alone. I’d like CBT/Schema Therapy to build independence, assertiveness, and decision-making skills.”
Outlook
With therapy and stepwise practice, people with DPD typically gain confidence, make independent choices, and form healthier, more equal relationships.
Resources for readers in the USA
- Immediate help: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline; Crisis Text Line (text HOME to 741741); National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 or thehotline.org (if safety concerns)
- Find care: Psychology Today (filter for personality disorders/Schema/CBT); FindTreatment.gov; NAMI HelpLine
- Skills: Assertiveness training resources; local community classes/workshops
- Low-cost/community: Open Path Collective; Community Health Centers (findahealthcenter.hrsa.gov); 211
- Insurance tips: Verify in-network therapy (weekly), telehealth, session limits; copay/coinsurance, deductible, out-of-pocket max
Disclaimer: Educational information, not a diagnosis. If in crisis, use the resources above.